Ghede is the Vodou Lwa (deity) of sex and death. Ghede is constantly amused by man’s base sexual motivation, and his constant need to hide it within something else. Having been “ridden”* by him many times, and having heard many of his discourses, I have decided to compile some of his basic messages. These cover ideas around seduction, relationships, tantra and healing.

*For the avoidance of doubt, ‘ridden’ here refers to being possessed, not something else! When a Vodou Houngan (priest) such as myself, is possessed by the Lwa, the Lwa refer to him as their horse.

Seduction

First, Ghede’s view on seduction is simple, basic, and very practical. As the survival of our species has depended on successful seduction not missing a single generation, it is clear that nature has made it very easy to get laid. If one is not successful, it is not to be complicated by calculated strategies, but remedied by fixing the basics. How it naturally works, is that when a man approaches a woman with a normal sexual vibe, their mirror neurons ensure that they both start to feel the same vibe. Words are not even needed. Silently allowing this vibe is far better than speaking just to fill an awkward silence. Men screw up simply by blocking this natural vibe, out of fear of rejection, or simply being uncomfortable with it. He may have sexual intentions to start with, but then close it off as he approaches her. The result is no sexual interaction; she blows hot and cold because that is what he is doing. He is basically giving the message that he is not comfortable with his sexuality. This basic message will not be hidden by any clever chat up lines. Women tend to be more empathic than men, and can spot bullshit a mile away.

It is this basic discomfort that causes so many distortions. When men are not able to simply seduce, they turn to all kinds of manipulations to get into a sexual encounter. These don’t get good results, so the basic belief that women are not interested in them tends to be perpetuated, and the pattern of manipulation rather than seduction gets more ingrained.

Tantra

One area where this fact constantly arises is in tantra. Too many are turning to it as an easy way to get laid, so the real power is lost. The understanding of sexual energy in tantra is actually a very delicate one. As there is some level of sexual tension whenever a man and a woman are in the same room, the first important point is to be responsible for that energy. This does not always mean taking clothes off to exaggerate that tension, although that can certainly bring out a few tensions. The first step is always to make the situation safe. Without safety there cannot be a building of real trust, which is important for any real transformation or healing. Energy exchange does not require physical contact, but the flow is strongly affected by the mood, emotions, honesty, respect and trust. Only when a person is clear enough in their own sexuality not to have any hidden needs, is the exchange of energy pure.

Ghede’s message is to be totally happy with sex before you get involved in tantra, otherwise it gets distorted. Power, integrity and stability are built from the base chakra up. Tantra activates the highest chakras to produce spiritual power. The base of power and emotional health need to be developed first. Basic tantra practice includes energy work and deep healing. The only appropriate feeling towards someone you are healing is absolute love, untainted by need, shame, dishonesty or manipulation.

Love & Relationship

This simple feeling of love is something that we usually have to work on developing. There is so much that passes as love that is not real. Often it is nothing more than the simple self preservation instinct, trying to protect what is seen as belonging to you. Observe how a parent may disown a child when they do not behave the way they are expected to, or how a husband may suddenly turn off his wife when she no longer behaves in a fixed way that fits his comfort zones. In such cases, this is not love, but simply preserving one’s own identity. Real love does not vanish when the object of your love follows his/her own will. Love encourages growth without demanding it. Its basic message is “I love you as you are, but through my love I make you more”.

We can observe a progression of love as we go through life; from the needy love of the child, to the dramatic and wounded love of the adolescent, to the possessive love of adulthood, then the abandoned love of old age, when love seems to have passed you by. From this sequence, we can guess that very few awaken to what love really is.

The simple truth is that we do not find true love without developing spiritually, as it comes into us from beyond. This is the root of all magick; we develop ourselves through contact with the various forms of divinity. In Vodou, it’s through the Lwa. It is a spirituality that is alive and intimate, because we have direct conversation with the Lwa through the phenomenon of possession. Everyone comes away from these ceremonies greatly transformed. A simple conversation and healing with Ghede often has a major influence in resolving one’s sexual problems.

If you would like an initiation into Vodou and a chance to meet some of the Lwa and receive their healing, I offer a weekend Vodou Initiation course. See my Calendar for details of upcoming courses. Check it out here and contact me if you have any questions or would like to book.

See also my Vodou Home-study Course.

You might also like to read my article ‘Shedding Light on the Vodou Lwa‘.

In the video below you see me possessed by Ghede and giving healings.